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Gulliver's Parabox

Author: Gulliver63

futurama point . fan fics . gulliver63 . gulliver's parabox

[Gulliver63's Fan Fics] [Fan Fics MAIN]

Patterned after the "Farnsworth's Parabox" episode.

Turanga Leela found herself in a rare bored moment in the Planet Express lounge, reading a magazine. Before she could far into the article, she suddenly heard the whooping of a klaxon alarm wailing through the building. She'd never heard the alarm, and really didn't know what it was. She soon heard Professor Farnsworth yelling through the speaker on the wall.

"Leela", he yelped, "there has been a laser discharge in the storage rooms…go down there and find out what's going on!"

Leela took a laser pistol out of the weapons locker and flew down the old, rusty staircase. She took the safety off of the pistol, as she didn't know what she could be walking into. Who was shooting a laser? At whom? Her combat reflexes sprung into action as she approached the storage areas. The first door was the infamous room where the Professor had stored his dreaded "universe paraboxes" -  each box was a doorway into an alternate universe. His experiment had caused utter chaos several years ago when the boxes were created. No one really knew what to do with them afterward, except to store them in a room and lock the door.

Leela suddenly got a strange look on her face…she noticed a small laser hole in the door, but it was at the bottom near the floor. She crouched down and put her finger into the hole out of curiosity. The wailing of the alarm suddenly went quiet.

"I found your laser hole, Professor," she said into her arm thingee.

"Well, go in and investigate." What Leela couldn't see was that Farnsworth still had the styrofoam cooler marked "Leela's Organs" standing by, just in case things went very badly.

Leela slowly opened the door, and turned on the light. She didn't see anything out of the ordinary, but did notice that one of the boxes had it's lid off. The box was marked "Lilliput Universe". She placed the lid back on the box, and looked around the room.

"Professor, I found your laser blast," she said, "but I haven't found anyone around".

She closed the door behind her, and decided to roam around the building. After searching the building in vain, she settled back in to the lounge and decided to finish her magazine article. She suddenly heard something that sent chills down her spine.

"Leela," a voice said. She looked up from her magazine, her cycloptic eye looking all around the room. She went back to reading, and the voice called her name again – and it was her own voice!

"Fry, Amy," she growled, "if this is a joke, it's not very damn funny!"

"It's not a joke, Leela…listen to me."

She looked up again, and this time she started to tremble in fear. She knew that Dr. Zoidberg was in his office, and she decided to pay him a visit.

"Voices, you're saying?" Zoidberg spoke with scholarly authority. "Young lady, I must be straight with you, although the truth will be painful."

"Am I cracking up? Am I under too much stress?"

"Leela, you're suffering from gill rot. And what's worse, I may have to remove part of your dorsal fin for the procedure. The quicker I can get you into surgery, the less suffering you will have to endure."

Leela grunted angrily as she left Zoidberg's office, holding a prescription for some rare aquarium medicine and a note recommending a healthy fish food. What a pathetic excuse for a company doctor.

As she left the office, she noticed Amy Wong asking Scruffy the janitor for a broom…she explained that she needed it to kill a "mutant mouse" that had escaped from the Professor's lab. Every muscle in Leela's body tensed up in an instant as she heard the voice again.

"Leela, you have to listen to me!"

"Why won't you leave me the hell alone?!" Leela shook with anger, but the voice sounded so real. Finally the voice said something besides her name.

"Leela, look down," the voice instructed. "down here…on the table"

Leela nearly passed out when she saw what was on the table…it was a miniature version of herself, identical except for blonde hair and dark blue boots. And the little Leela looked pissed.

"I'll explain everything later," the little Leela said as she pointed toward the door, "but first you have to stop Amy from killing that ‘mutant mouse'!" 

The words had no sooner left little Leela's  mouth before the shrieking scream of Amy could be heard from the other room. Leela gently scooped her tiny counterpart into her hands and darted into the other room. They found Amy clumped into a corner, shaking with fright. In the middle of the floor they saw a tiny doll-sized Amy jumping up and down, screaming in anger next to the broom. 

"You COMPLETE IDIOT!" The tiny woman shook her fists in rage. "I've been trying to talk to you for an hour and you've been trying to kill me! Are you done trying to kill me? DA SEI NE!!"

Leela stooped down for a closer look, The woman was identical to Amy in every way, except she was wearing a green sweat suit and had dark purple hair. She wore dark green boots.

"Let me get this straight," Leela said, pointing at the tiny Amy, "you're from the Lilliput Universe."

"She's a quick learner," little Leela snapped. "we're just lucky you didn't kill us first."

"Can I ask a stupid question? Why did you come here?"

Leela gently placed her miniature version on a table, and placed the little Amy next to her. It was scary being in the hands of giants, but they were finally being heard.

"You've got to stop Farnsworth's latest experiment, " little Leela explained, "he's trying to create a machine to travel between the dimensions…"

"Yeah, something about being able to deliver more packages to more customers…" added Amy.


"Well, why would that affect you in your universe?" asked Amy.

"Because the Professor's machine has created a side-effect. It tears open random holes in the fabric of space…no one knows where these holes are going to open up, or what's going to come through when they do."

"How did you handle this in your universe?" Leela asked, looking puzzled.

"Well, we had to use desperate measures…" little Amy grinned up at the giants with her hands behind her back, "we sort of had to tie him up and throw him into a broom closet."

Leela smiled back. Before another word could be said, as if on cue, Professor Farnsworth bolted into the lab with his welding mask flipped up and a smile on his face.

"Good news, everyone," he announced, "I've just created a machine which can travel between dimensions!" He looked at the glum expression on the girls' faces and then caught sight of the miniature doubles standing on the table "Whaaa?" 

While the girls were filling Farnsworth in on the details of his experiment, Fry and Bender had settled into the lounge with a beer to watch television. It was a Saturday, and there was no way that anybody was going to get any work out of them.

"What's this crap?" Bender asked.

"It's ‘The Attack Of The 50 Foot Woman'. It's an American classic."

"How do you humans watch this stuff?"

The two sat mesmerized as the black and white images flickered on the screen. As they chugged their beers down, they were unaware that a gigantic brown eye peered in at them through the window. The owner of the eye broke into a huge, toothy grin.

"I just can't believe it," Farnsworth said in disbelief. "It just doesn't seem possible."

"Our Professor had a similar reaction," little Amy chuckled, "so we had to beat him up and leave him tied up in a broom closet".

The entire building suddenly shook as if a huge truck had run into it. The shock knocked the little women off their feet; they tumbled to the surface of the table. Everyone turned to the direction of the noise. Little Leela waved her hands to get Leela's attention.

"Leela," she shouted, "who's in the tv lounge?"

"Oh my God…Bender and Fry just went in there." Again she scooped up her counterpart and ran into the room. She gasped at what she saw.

Most of the exterior wall had been punched out, and furniture was scattered everywhere. Bricks were still falling off of the building. Fry and Bender were gone. What was even more amazing was that one of Farnsworth's holes in space could be seen over across the street in the construction site…and a huge version of Amy could be seen entering it. Leela knew what she had to do – she gently placed her little friend into a toolbag, slung it around her shoulder, and took a running leap out of the building over to the tear in space. She let out a yell as she flew through the air Laura Croft-style. The hole was closing fast, and she just made it in before it closed up. Leela was gone. The construction site looked like it normally did.   

Leela tumbled across a sidewalk and came to a stop against a brick wall. She stood up, and brushed her pants off with her hands. She glanced around, and was shocked at what she saw. The building was the Planet Express building alright, but it's bricks were a weird yellow color. She was standing on a side walk, but it seemed to be much wider than a sidewalk should be. She suddenly found herself having to run back over to the safety of the building as several giants walked by…she nearly got stepped on. She suddenly remembered her little friend, and opened up the toolbag.

"You've got to get into the building to save your friends"

"Yeah, but how?"

"The cat door you made for Nibbler…" little Leela pointed to the door, "you did that too, didn't you?"

"Oh, yeah." Leela now stood only 6 inches tall, and easily made her way into the cat door. "I never thought I'd be using it." 

As Farnsworth and the two Amys tinkered with his dimension machine, they suddenly heard a horrible sound like tearing cloth. They turned to see a hole opening up in the wall, and could see figures peering through. Leela suddenly came through the hole, but she wasn't the Leela that they knew – she had the large body of a snake instead of legs. Another Amy emerged through the hole with octopus-like tentacles and a pointed tail. Fry then walked in – he only had one eye in the middle of his head like Leela.

"Hey," the naga-Leela said angrily, "will somebody tell me what the hell is going on?" 

Leela snuck around inside the Planet Express building trying to find Bender and Fry. She quickly sprinted behind a large table leg after hearing approaching footsteps. A gigantic version of Amy came into view. She was identical in every way, except she was wearing a light blue sweat suit and bright red hair. She towered over 60 feet tall and her huge boots made a loud clomping sound as she walked by. She was walking with her mother, and showing off her two new "toys" for her collection.

"They are so ugly, " Inez said in a loud, booming voice, "they look just like Bender and that weirdo Fry."

"I think they're cute." Fry and Bender helplessly squirmed in her hands…she wasn't crushing them, but they couldn't really move. They were also terrified at being held over 50 feet off of the ground. "They'll fit right in my dollhouse."

"Amy, I wish you'd quit playing with your toys and get busy finding a husband…"

"I know mom, I know… you want lots of grandbabies…"

"You're not getting any younger, you know. You let that Zapp Brannigan get away – he was quite a catch."

Leela cringed as the huge cowboy boot of Inez clomped on by. As the giants left the room, she knew where to go to rescue her friends…but how? 

Back at the Planet Express building, the two Amys were taking a moment to relax by painting their toenails. Little Amy luckily had brought her own bottle, as big Amy's bottle easily stood three feet tall – and it wasn't green.

"It's so fun having an imaginary friend," Amy said.

"I'm not imaginary," little Amy shouted, "I'm just a lot smaller than you are!" She slumped her tiny shoulders and looked glum. "I miss my hubby and kids…"

"Hubby and kids?" Amy's eyes got big as she looked up.

"Yeah! Phillip Fry and I were married 4 years ago…and we've got two kids – GUH!"

Amy looked down at her little counterpart in amazement.

"And Zapp Brannigan proposed to Leela the other night, and she said yes – you probably don't know that, either."

"Ewwwww!" Amy curled up her face.

"Better news everyone," Farnsworth blurted out as he marched into the room. "I've invented a way to get everyone back to their respective universes – and what's even better, I can find our friends by their career chips – I've already located Fry and Bender in the Brobdingnag Universe!" 

It seemed like climbing a mountain, but Leela made it up the staircase to Amy's room. She quickly spied the huge dollhouse in a room filled with all kinds of gigantic toys. Leela began trying doors, but found no way to get in. She stood back and blasted a side door with her laser pistol. She walked through the house, and made her way upstairs.


Leela spotted Fry in an upstairs bedroom, dressed as a toy soldier and carrying a plastic rifle.


"What's with the get-up?"

"It's horrible, Leela…", said Fry, pointing out the window at a little puppet stage. "Amy has us doing ‘The Nutcracker Suite' every hour on the hour!"

A dejected Bender sat slumped down in the corner of the room, with a fake tail and mouse ears. "Yeah, and guess who gets to play the rat!"

Leela trembled as the sound of those clomping footsteps could be heard outside of the dollhouse…Amy was coming back. 

Back in New New York, Zapp Brannigan was taking a shower at a swank hotel; Kiff stood guard outside, waiting for his next order as he read a newspaper. Kiff looked up quickly as he heard that terrible ripping sound echo in the hallway. He peeked his head around just in time to see Leela coming out of a hole in the wall. But it wasn't the Leela he knew – she was terrifying. She had the body of a large black scorpion, and her right arm was a massive claw. Kiff froze as the massive figure walked up to him on her eight spider-like legs.

"Where is the one known as Zapp?" demanded the Leela creature.

"Uhh…" Kiff didn't know what to do, so he tried to lie. "He's…he's…still on the Nimbus! Yes…that's right…he's….preparing a large-scale attack. As a matter of fact, he's…"

Suddenly the voice of Zapp could be heard croaking from the showers…he was actually singing his own version of "Muskrat Love", making up lyrics as he went along. The song was not only terrible, it surely sealed his fate.

"Kiff!  Are you sleeping out there? Hand me my towel, boy!"

Suddenly a large black claw came into the showers holding a towel. Zapp still couldn't see much because of the steam. "Thanks, Kiff".

"Leela!" Zapp spotted her among the clouds of steam, but couldn't see the scorpion body yet. "By the stars, this is like a dream! You've come back to me, you fabulous hunk of womanhood. You've got the craving – I knew you would! I knew it was only a matter of time. Why, you and I…" Zapp finally caught sight of the rest of her as the steam cleared away. He gasped in terror. Before he could say anything, the claw grabbed him around the neck and squeezed. He was lifted into the air like a rag doll.

"You were saying?" 

Before Leela and her friends could hide, the roof of the dollhouse opened up and a giant Amy peered inside.

"Leela!" Amy said, her voice booming around the dollhouse like a loudspeaker, "what a bonus! You can join the others for the next performance!" A gigantic hand swooped down into the house after Leela. She fired at it with her pistol, as if it were a large animal.

"Ouch!!" The pistol did little more than make a small burn on her finger. "Bad toy!!" The hand came back for Leela, pinning her against the wall with a monstrous finger. A quick-thinking Fry poked the finger with his bayonet. An angry Amy growled and drew her hand back for an attack on Fry. They had nowhere to go.

"Amy!" The booming voice was familiar as it echoed across the room – it was the larger version of Leela, complete with blue hair. Her single eye was filled with rage. "Stop this – the Professor says that they're supposed to go back to their own universe." Giant Leela gathered the gang up like a set of dolls, and carried them back to the Professor's lab. Giant Amy fumed with anger. 

Back in the hotel in New New York, Scorpion-Leela began to lecture Zapp, who was being held in her gigantic claw. He struggled, but couldn't escape the grip.

"You!! You left me to die in the battle of Omicron Persei 8…now it's your turn to die!"

A quick thinking Kiff smashed a bottle of champagne over Leela's back; seeing as she had a hard exoskeleton, the attack did little more than annoy her. It did, however, cause her to release Zapp from her claw. Before Leela could retaliate against Kiff, the ripping sound in the fabric of space could be heard. The floor opened up into a huge hole, and Leela with her

massive scorpion body fell into it. As the hole closed up, Zapp and Kiff heard Leela yelling curses of revenge. The two looked up to see the two Amys and the Professor; Farnsworth blew on the laser tube of his new device, like a cowboy in the old west would blow the smoke from the barrel of his sixgun.  

Finally, things were starting to get back to normal at the Planet Express headquarters. Amy was enjoying some television in the lounge. Leela came in to ask her something.

"Amy, the professor says that everything has to go back into it's original universe."

"Okay," said Amy innocently.

Leela got a stern look on her face, and put her hand out, as if Amy were a bad child.

"Everything, Amy."

"Oh, poop…"

A tiny man popped his head up from Amy's thick black hair, like an explorer looking through jungle overgrowth. He looked up at Leela.

"Ma'am" the man said, "I'm not in any trouble, am I?"

Amy gently scooped the man out her hair, and placed him into Leela's palm. Leela couldn't help but grin down at the man. She was going to crack a joke about how easily Amy could "pick up a guy", but she refrained.

"Darn it, Leela," Amy frowned, "I finally meet a nice guy, and I've got to send him back."

"Call me sometime," the man said to Amy as he stood up in Leela's palm.

Amy smiled and waved back at him as Leela carried him from the room. 

[Gulliver63's Fan Fics] [Fan Fics MAIN]

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